Ben Karris / October 5th, 2012 / Spotlight
REVIEWED: “JJ’s Blading, The Game”

Sometimes, people whom wear khaki pants and sweater vests — I’m pretty posi there was actually a period of time in blading when this was acceptable shred fashion — ANYWAY, these people, sometimes they say things like, “Hey, there’s an app for that!”

Blading has an app. And of course, Jon Julio is behind it.

All week, blading social media was going crayyyy with screencaps, hashtags, high scores and enough “Likes” to appropriately assume that at least someone got the Facebook version of herpes with all of the excitement surrounding the release of “Jon Julio’s Blading, The Game.”




For real though, this app is mad sick.

In what I would equate to the “juggalo” of the gaming community — despite legendary runs with The Monster or Franky or Sven B — “Aggressive Inline” left blading’s mark on gaming entertainment with as much finesse as spandex and fucking neon bring to street skating. We were no better off.

“Rolling” never reached distribution on a mass level, either.

JJ reclaims what has been lost, or at the very least, this app represents the positive direction in which blading is progressing and has the potential to progress.


ILL! Well, for the most part.

Sometimes, like when you’re buying tricks or Chris Haffey (which kind of sounds weird and gay and awesome but like, kinda slave-y too?) the game (on my five-month-old iPhone 4s, running iOS6, and others I’ve spoken to) will just crash, or your purchase won’t be available until the app restarts. It might prompt you to make the same purchase numerous times; correcting itself and making Siri blush and letting you re-download the purchase for free. (I’ve heard this complaint for other apps on iOS6.)

The trick vocabulary is confusing. I’m under the impression you can only assign 8 tricks at a time to a given skater? I see this changing.

For the most part though, this app is really fun. The user experience: navigating through the menu and store tiers, skater customizations, and getting on the “street” is all very fluid and user-friendly. Doing tricks is as easy as Fruit Ninja, you just swipe the display with your pudgy sausage fingers.

The bearing merit system is a great idea. The tricks themselves look fucking badass. For a mobile game, the steez is definitely there. Spins feel kind of awkward if you don’t go immediately into a grind, you just kind of hover over the rail or ledge. The race-against-the-clock challenge is a bit campy, but it’s still cool. I see games of B.L.A.D.E in the future, or more blade life focused challenges. The overall vibe of the game is still authentic: Valo4Life Billboard ads, Strange Creatures and Dirt Box tee shirts, a great skate selection, cool obstacles, realistic bails and coffin slides.


Sitting on the bus, being a dick and not paying attention in class and the road trip to the Blading Cup just became a lot more fun.

I’m just going to come out and say it: I know you hit mute too, Julio. That music?

The bladers: Jon Julio and Chris Haffey are the only by-definition, pro skaters cast as characters. I feel like this was a money thing? Like, it probably cost a lot of money to get a skater into the game and to pay out proper royalties? Skaters and their tricks and clothing don’t actually cost $.99 like the Apple store wants you to believe? This will probably change. But, if Chris Haffey’s bear/coach/life partner* becomes a character, I would not be opposed or raise a stink.

Remember, it’s a mobile app. It can be updated as frequently as Julio and his developers deem necessary. Online gameplay, create-a-skater, new products, courses, tricks, all dat (j)azz — if this is v.1, I’d be willing to bet by at least v.5 you’ll be able to buy Malcolm Heard and all of his Gucci Mane playlists.

[*Come on, I know you remember from the B.L.A.D.E. edits.]

Follow Ben on Instagram and Twitter: @aStarryDynamo

For more info on the game, check out Blading The Game’s official site.

Discussion / REVIEWED: “JJ’s Blading, The Game”

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