If you have ever driven anywhere far to skate with your friends, you will know exactly how we felt on the Con.Artist Tour. I could tell you what happened, who did what tricks, who told what jokes, where we stayed, who drove like crap, or who got lost where. I could also tell you what states we won scratch-off lottery in, how good that watermelon beer was, how comfortable we were on the first half of the tour, or how uncomfortable we were on the second part. I could tell you all about our individual experiences, just like you could tell me about the individual experiences you have had on similar trips. Those details are infinitely important, they are the details I will tell to my children, they are the stories we will exchange if we ever meet, and they are the details that combined with all the other details of other trips that have made me who I am, and made you who you are.

Cherish these memories, know that you are the coolest people on Earth, that your friends are the best friends in the world, and that the tricks you do are the best tricks ever done. Every mile you drive to put skates on in a new place and with new people is sacred. The memories you make, just like the memories we made on this trip, strengthen your commitment and love for skating, and thus are the lifeblood of our sport.

Now, all this talk of details would be a bit of a tease if I didn’t elaborate a little bit. We got balls deep in the 24-hour drive from Minneapolis (holla) to a suburb outside of Boston where we were staying. We had a seasoned road trip crew, which was originally Mike Garlinghouse, Kevin Meland, Dan Fabiano, Shane Birtzer, Dereck Larsen, Cordel Kennerly, Brad Magnuson and me. The drive was hell, like it always is. Brad got a ticket coming down from his town in northern Minnesota to Minneapolis, which was bogus because he was on a major shoestring. This was made worse by the fact that a single ambitious cop managed to pull both Brad and me over in Ohio and bring the ticket total to three, with Brad accounting for two of them.

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Text by John Haynes

photos © John Haynes