Can you believe it’s been over seven months? Well, another week, another look at both the inspirational and idiotic rumblings of online bladerhood. Get the rundown on why you HAVE to make it to one of the blade events in February, Xsjado announcing their newest pro, getting over the FML mentality, a wag of the finger at drunk divers, and more in this latest dose of verbal venom from our man by the bay. — ONE
Ubiquitous Item of the Week: Comp news
February is nigh, which means rollerblading’s two largest competitions are upon us: Winterclash and the Bitter Cold Showdown. And those comps don’t come cheap—facility rentals, security, insurance, building new obstacles, etc. That’s why such news, due to a drop in funding — “The worst case scenario is: There will be no future for the Winterclash after 2010!” — is a reality in blading. If you live in Europe, do whatever you have to go. Sell your dog, little brother, whatever. Just go!
For those of us stateside who can’t make the venture to Winterclash, BCSDX should not be an option, but rather a right of passage, a journey into blader manhood (or lady-hood) that all should make.
Here are my Top 5 reasons to go to BCSDX:
No. 5: The people
Sick of those days where you’re the only blader at your local skatepark? Yeah, that’s not a problem for a weekend in Michigan.
No. 4: Tradeshow
Right now I have no way of calculating all the new gear being announced at Bitter Cold. Be-Mag’s always handing out free snacks. That, and there are deals. Go, stock the fuck up! Stimulate the blading economy! But, if you have a fear of stickers — which has no clinical name — stay the fuck away!
No. 3: Grommin’
You think the average football fan will ever meet the QB they’re watching every Sunday? Probably not. Well, rollerblading is different. We’re a sport where you can mingle with the people who are in all the videos, their names are on our skates, wheels, jeans, etc. That’s pretty damn cool and should be celebrated. Go, talk to the people you worship.
No. 2: The parties
Sick of those nights when jock meatheads give you shit at the bar for your “I Still Rollerblade” T-shirt? Yeah, that’s not a problem for a weekend in Michigan. Come to Bitter Cold, you’re among friends.
No. 1: This sign
Not far from the park, in between Bar (not, the bar, but an establishment known as Bar) and the only hotel that it’s impossible to get booted from is an innocuous religious store that has a great sign when read with a seven-drink minimum.
Rowe IS pro!
Who says democracy is dead?
Many, many moons ago — or in Oct. ’08 — the election began, as The Conference sought the opinions of the masses on their feelings on JC Rowe (or @Jsizzla for you Twitteratti). Since then, there has been a strong showing on the message boards that Rowe should be pro for Xsjado.
That means he’d be joining the likes of Chris Farmer, Damien Wilson, Jeff Stockwell, and Ben Schwab (and a stand-out AM known as Kevin Yee). Frankly, that’s just good company to be in and should always be a contender for Team of the Year.
Well, this week The Conference announced JC is pro, a feeling that must have been cozier than lighting someone’s Snuggie on fire while they’re still wearing it. Look at that smile:
Now watch an edit. If you’re like me you’ll have to watch it a few times, pausing often to double-check the technical goodness everywhere.
Porn!
The best answer to the question “Why?” is, and always will be, “…because I can.”
Similar to that idea, those crazy kids over at Shock had just the right headline to get my attention: “SHOCK: WE HAD TO POST IT.” If you value your job, don’t watch this at work. Unless you have one of THOSE jobs. And by “it,” they mean porn star Sasha Grey waxing intellectual on the art of getting down on her back, the physical prowess of those who bone for Benjamins, S&M, and existentialism. Some applies to blading, the rest is just because they can. And sometimes that’s all it takes.
Comment of the Week
Matt Murphy, blading filmmaker and life philosopher, has the right idea:
To all those people who always write “FML” — and you know who you are — either do something to make your life better or kill yourself.
Fail of the Week
Sometimes I doubt my own stupidity, but it took me a while to notice the same clips were looped over and over to fill up the gap while Jon Julio was on the phone with Cosimo Tassone. Then again, it’s a Keith Richards-esque story worth listening to…
Apparently, after getting booted out of a cab for some bad jokes, Cosi decided to drive, which ended with a head injury after falling out of the car drunk at a checkpoint. That, my friends, is a big, big fail. Funny, but a fail nonetheless.
For some reason, the U.S. treats drunk driving the same as lighting a Dumpster full of infants on fire. Yeah, if you get loaded and kill a bus full of people — or maybe even one — you deserve your spot in hell. Then again, I know few people with a license that haven’t drove home after the bar and only realized they were too drunk to drive until the next morning. Sadly, I too was one of those people. Thank God I got rid of my car.
And who can we count on to chastise those who engage in such tomfoolery? Commenters, duh.
Don’t drink and drive. Drink and blade. It’s funnier.
once again providing the lolz
Thanks for linking to my J.C. manifesto on Rollernews, we have pulled it from the Integrated site a while ago when things first didn’t look to promising for J.C. and Xsjado.
drinking and driving is terrible, im glad that all that happened to the forementioned man is a ticket and a noggin bump… i have been hit and run 2 times on my bike by drunks, take responsibility, if not for yourself then for everyone else. plus if you drive to the bar you will miss funny signs like the one in this post when you are driving home with tunnel vision
Rowe has always been pro material. He’s just one of those underestimated guys that makes the most impossible tricks look so damn easy. You have to really think about what he’s doing as you’re seeing it. His skating fucks with your head. Who the fuck can even do that disaster truspin negative shit besides him, seriously? High five JC! I’ll buy your pro skate when it drops.
Great web roll this one:)
About the Sasha Grey thing…
There are many arrows pointing at interesting topics, different ideas, and NOBODY here mentions a thing. Comon people!!!its getting obvious by now that OUR video industry suffers from the same phenomena, blading edits have become PORN long time ago, and she is right God damit, there needs to be a narrative thread to hook you into watching the whole thing and not end up skipping the half a minute with that “I´m too cool strapping my blades on”, “Look at my NYC baseball cap”…etc
Who would you call the Sasha Grey of rollerblading?
I´d go for Sean Cullen 🙂
(In fact, he´s the very only one that has introduced narration to rollerblading.)
Yep, drinking and driving is retarded, and I got hit and run by drunks on my bike twice too. At least I managed to get a punch on one of them before he ran away.
Great web roll this one 🙂
About the Sasha Grey thing…
There are many arrows pointing at interesting topics, different ideas, and NOBODY here mentions a thing. Comon people!!!its getting obvious by now that OUR video industry suffers from the same phenomena, blading edits have become PORN long time ago, and she is right God damit, there needs to be a narrative thread to hook you into watching the whole thing and not end up skipping the half a minute with that “I´m too cool strapping my blades on”, “Look at my NYC baseball cap”…etc
Who would you call the Sasha Grey of rollerblading?
I´d go for Sean Cullen 🙂 In fact he is the very only one to have introduced narration and fiction to rollerblading. (Of course you will find narration on Barely Dead, but I dont think there are too many more options…)
