Stop, rant, and roll! This week Krans brings us some questionable blade ‘news’ regarding Shaq, adds perspective to the many digs at blading taking place in the swelling social network blogosphere, shares ways to spread blading, finds an edit that didn’t drown in a sea of hate when it hit the news sites, and realizes, thanks to Winterclash, that rollerblading is far from dead. But then you already knew that, right? — ONE

Twitter-twatter, pitter-patter

Twitter amuses the hell out of me. It’s the best way to see what people are talking about, even if the Super Bowl, Haiti and the iPad are obvious topics. Still, every day, there seems to be more rollerblading talk, even more if it’s just retelling that stupid telling-your-parents-you’re-gay joke. I mean, where else would I find such heart-warming stories as this:

The way people watch John Stewart to get their news, I read The Onion. It’s about as factual as Fox News anyway.

And then there’s this guy:

Oh, there were a hundred different things I was expecting when I clicked on the link, possibly another blogger spewing hate and retardation about the wheeled boots.

But, alas, comedian and artist Steve Lambert found something even better…

He found a thunderstorm of Winterclash Booooooooms!

Hey, speaking of storms…

A Shit Storm of Awesome!

This gets my vote for best edit of 2010 thus far. I’ve watched it a dozen times and can’t stop. It’s just too damn good. Shawn’s got them steez and a big, cheesy grin the whole time. That, my friends, what makes blading the best thing you can do on your feet.

While the edit and skating itself rocks socks, the reaction on Rollernews was the best part. There were some 60 comments in a matter of hours. Usually when that happens, there’s a fury of shit-talking going on right away, as people knit-pick about anything and everything.

But…nothing. No hate.

WHAT! WHAT WHAT! My eyes nearly bled in surprise and my heart melted in pride.

But a good question was raised: why haven’t we heard of Shawn Storm? Oh, but we have. As Aggressive Mall explained on their blog you may have heard Shawn, handling “a lot of the phone customer service nonsense. So if you call aMALL or get called from aMALL, do a return, order of the phone, get an order filled, odds are Shawn has a hand in it amongst other things such as trick tips, updating the twitter and so fourth.”

That’s also why the edit contains fellow AM slaves like a nervous-looking Neil Chen and Paco Ass Dre making sure everything keeps on the up-and-up.

While Shawn’s not out handling man business like his job or being a full-time student, he’s lacing up and throwing down. He deserves all the love he’s been given.

Ubiquitous Item of the Week

This isn’t the item I’m seeing everywhere, but it should be. Want to get more people to blade but don’t know where to start? Here ya go: http://getsomeonetoblade.blogspot.com

It’s simple: Gather, Share, Teach, Session.

Repeat after me: Gather, Share, Teach, Session. Gather, Share, Teach, Session…

Very good. To everyone who is out spreading blading like Mormons and their Bible, I salute you!

More tips on how to establish blade expansion programs and generally raise blade awareness in your area coming to the site soon.

And who got to Weezy. Tracy, that you?

Comment of the Week

Hear, hear! It’s as if human beings have reached the peak of evolution that the only thing we have left to share with one another are the things we jam in our faces. I’m a cook. I know. It’s annoying.

Fail of the Week

Again with the Twitter:

Ah, the inner workings of the mind of pro skateboarders like Rob Dyrdek.

We’re all fools for rollerblading. How silly we are, going down mountains with our poles in our hands, getting in the way of all the awesome snowboarders. We’re different and that’s bad.

As others pointed out in response to Mr. Dyrdek — who in all honesty is a damn good boarder — blading is miles behind everything else:

Well, to those thoughts—a true sign of bandwagon, popularity-seeking idiocy that is the skateboarding movement—I say do your homework before you hit the keyboard. Or as Henry David Thoreau said, “How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”

I could easily point to bladers like Haffey, Aragon, Sizemore and others to try to defend our sport, but it’s pointless to attempt to convert boarders. The best way for me to put it is this way…

— Brian Krans