Krans is on a roll. Now settling into his SF blade-nest with roommate Ivan Narez, submitting articles (solicited!) to WIRED, writing a column for The Examiner, and last we heard, hanging out with fellow ONE-buddy Mike Opalek on his one-night excursion in the Bay Area. Guess what we’re saying is expect more random ramblings soon. — ONE

When will I die/get married/raped in prison shower room?

According to FaceBook surveys — the grand pooh-bah of foresight — I’m going to get married after I’m 40, die by homicide by fire (both painful things I’d rather avoid), I am most like Spider-Man — probably because of my sticky palms — and Chuck Palahniuk is the author of my soul.

But finally, FINALLY, someone made a good wasting-time-at-work survey that actually means something. Say hello — if you haven’t already — to “Which pro rollerblader are you?”

The puzzling thing about the quiz created by rollerbladers Mantas and Paulius, is that while it asks pertinent questions like skate brands you ride, how you dress, etc., it also asks which tricks you do in a line or at a park.

My question is: the tricks I actually do or the ones I do in my head? Case it point, question No. 4: “You see a nice ledge going down 30 stairs, what are you going to do?”

Um, hello, there’s no possible answer of “Sit on your ass and watch everyone else.”

On the road with Ross Anthony

Philly blader Ross Anthony took the road trip to a new level. It started with a pretty simple goal — he wanted to go above the Arctic Circle. He packed up his crap — and his dog — strapped it all to a Suzuki motorcycle and left for Alaska for a couple of months.

Ross rode all over Canada to the Popularity Contest, catching up with infamous Canadian rollerbladers like mushroom bladers Joey and Todd, as well as DP and Sean Knight (Speaking of, check out their July edit.

He even got engaged.

I’m not even going to try to tell the story. B.J. Bales over at the Iowa Connection has a good Q&A with Ross about his trip, as well as pics of Ross blading in Iowa.

Taming the Wild Wheeled-Abeast

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (Minnesota), urethane beasts plagued the harsh, unforgiving landscape. The circular beasts pummeled down forests with their shear numbers.

It wasn’t until much later, as natives were at the helm of extinction, that the Scribe Tribe came along and tamed the savage beasts. Their secret? Concrete. No longer could the wheeled-abeasts hop aimlessly through the forests. No, now with paved avenues blanketing the world, the wheels were forced to perform under the commands of the people like wild elephants at the zoo.

Scribe captured one of those feats on film in the new promo edit for Blake O’Brien’s pro wheel. Notice how the wheels haphazardly trounce through the city before being tamed directly into Blake’s gentle hands.

If the Crocodile Hunter were alive to see this, he’d shit bricks.

Ubiquitous Item of the Week

Daniel Kinney is a man with his shit together. Most famous for the host of the Bitter Cold Showdown, he’s been a busy cat with helping out with the Bearings & Bruises events in Rockford, Ill., and getting the 2009 Bitter Cold DVD together.

The teaser made its way around the Internet faster than the Dramatic Gopher.

Comment of the Week

Anytime a thread has the title “Got a gun”, there’s always sure to be something comical about it, or some Columbine-esque rant about it.

Or as SenatePunkRocker illustrates, there’s always advice on how to get your gun off.

Think of the Pandas

Everyone thought the Deshi Carbons were the great leap in skating technology.

Bullshit. Bamboo, bitches!

If someone can skate a ledge with those frames, I’ll give them a dollar.

— Brian Krans