Brian Krans is back for his second installment of WEB ROLL. A.K.A. This Week in Online Blading. Some highlights include a look at the one-sidedness of sponsor promoted “reviews”, the debate sparked by the reappearance of Josh Letona’s pants, the Euro Comp pop that just happened, and awkward things bladers say on message boards to get attention. If you were sleeping on the web this week you don’t want to miss this. — ONE

Blading’s Comfort Wipe

I’d love to see some edit where a team rider testing or reviewing a company’s skates just straight shit-talks them and lights them on fire. Hell, just maybe, I’d like to see at least a complaint from these company-produced “reviews.”

For the longest time — or long in my short attention span — Rollerblade has been the kings of getting their riders to “review” their gear. Tom Hyser had been doing them for a while, basically taking the skate apart and then doing some tricks at a park. This week, Rob G is up at bat, showing off the Estilo, Era and Tribe.

While nowhere in the videos are they are called Reviews, the headline on Rollernews declares them as such.

For a big saving grace, Rob G also sits in on an installment of Franken Boots with Juan from Inline Warehouse (who also produced the other videos), showing that, no, the skates aren’t handos for your feet right out of the box and might need some tweaking.

The Conference posts similar ones too. The latest installment has been from USD rider Daniel Prell on his blog. Was the review good? Of course!

These aren’t tests. They’re not reviews. If someone is getting paid to display what a product can do, it’s an infomercial. The hooker-beating Shamwow guy knows what I’m talking about.

These “reviews” or “tests” by people who have a stake in sales of the skates are about as useful for people who pay for their skates — not the other way around — as the Comfort Wipe.

Lessons from Letona

Nothing symbolizes rollerblading better than an edit hitting the internet-o-sphere and instantly inspiring a debate over clothes. Just when I thought there would be no great baggy versus girl jean debate this week, Josh Letona saves the day. Yes, THE Josh Letona. (Groms, take note.)

The “Not even warmed up” edit showed a glimpse of what Letona’s been doing since back in the day — pulling huge tech shit, like true negative rough grinds.

Before he laced his first trick, I envisioned the ensuing countdown: 3…2…1… FASHION DEBATE!

Letona’s style of clothing — described by commentors as somewhere between a Bloods gang member and Ronald McDonald — got the most heated response, not his tricks.

I guess if I’ve learned anything about blading, it’s that if you want the fucktards on the message boards to concentrate on your skating and not what’s covering your ass, wear Levi’s 501 — not too saggy, not too tight. Because as we all know, there is nothing more important in skating that the distance between your drawers and your denim.

As long as you’re going to hate on someone — so long as you’re not busy between fingering your underage sister and trying to find out who your daddy is — hate Dos Equis beer and their Most Interesting Man in the World.

He wears a pinstripe blazer with a satin collar. That makes me want to stab a baby in the temple with a screwdriver. A screwdriver covered in AIDS.

Europ-andimonium!

So, wait, is rollerblading still considered a legitimate sport by a larger sect of society? Really? Like comps with other sports like the X-Games? What?

Either I’m watching old ASA runs on ESPN Classic or I’m in Europe. Hell, even mainstream media is noticing we’ve gone underground here in the states.

But Europe. While I’ve never been there, it seems to never have faded out. While we look to the future when rollerblading will rise again, we need to take a look at Europe’s blading model of promotion and getting non-bladers to see it (That’s not my original thought. Julio told me that).

With FISE — France’s version of the X-Games —last week’s Movistar in Barcelona, and three World Rolling Series stops, Europeans get great exposure to rolling, including a Portugese TV documentary and a French TV show.

Those are just the bigger comps paired up with other sports. There’s still Mind The Gap, Ignition’s Sausage Cup, and tons of others.

Hell, it seems nowadays if you’re making a team video, you have to go to Europe. Valo and Nimh have subscribed to that thought.

So what is America doing wrong that Europe’s doing right? I’m not sure, but I’ll be studying them to find out.

Comment of the Week

“My mommy just left… and I decided that the computer is ultimently the best place to smoke a bowl… Wow, so fuckin chill, all the music, games, videos I want, all at my fingertips, literally.” – from Gen2Roller under the thread “When you smoke, I got this from be-mag” on Amall’s forum.

Ubiquitous item of the Week

The rumors we’ve been hearing for months have been confirmed — Deshi is no more and has melded in with USD into The Conference brotherhood. If you’re reading this for the first time, you’re officially dead to skating.

Really, I’m not surprised at its folding. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen someone riding Deshis that weren’t Carbons. But it seems the fabled revolution in skating failed to keep the company standing solo.

In their official announcement, The Conference basically said it was too damn expensive to have separate marketing and such for one company who’s sole focus was a handmade skate. And they revamped their site, with the Carbons filed under USD.

The best thing the Carbons had before any customer rode them was the hype. It remained steady as the hockey-skate-like Carbons were plagued with delays to fill pre-orders of their uber high-priced, yet revolutionary, design.

It’s doubtful one skate could save an already suffering company.

Hell, even Vinny Minton — their last skater with a pro skate — lit up the interweb when he was spotted blading in Valos.

Bye, Deshi. It was fun. — Brian Krans