WEB ROLL #31: I’d like to thank the Academy…

Sometimes my impatience borderlines a handicap. So, I’ve decided to not wait for ONE to come up with the democratically-decided Skater of the Year Award. However, one award for the whole year seems a bit lazy, so here is an amassing of people I think should deserve some recognition for what they did in 2009…

(And to clarify, these awards do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of the ONE editorial board. They were decided solely by me, Brian Krans, in an attempt to show some respect and/or be funny.)

Scene of the Year:

Minnesnowta

Considering Minnesota is a terribly desolate wasteland for about four months of the year, rollerblading in that frozen hellhole is no easy task.

Still, the state is home to this “Minnesota Nice” idea and some hardworking power shredders.

Besides all their other accolades, Jeff Howard and Brett Dasovic kept cranking out entertaining edits in their “A Day with Brett and Jeph” series. Let’s not forget Dasovic’s and Blake Cohen’s “Too Much Love” video series.

John Haynes. Helluva photographer. ‘Nuff said.

Chris Farmer. Big sections, tech tricks, magazine covers, pro skates. You know him, you may love him, but there’s no denying that any Farmer section is going to be one worth watching over and over. He, along with fellow Minnesotan and VX rider Michael Garlinghouse, had a great section in “On Top.”

Speaking of VX…

Leading the Way (aka The Spohn Ranch Award):

Adam Johnson

Vibralux did some big shit in Oh-Nine, namely “On Top,” the “Clever Online Video Name” series, and the recent release of their new clothing line. Hell, I have a hard time finding a blader that doesn’t own a pair of the Haffey jeans.

Vibralux sends its bladers — a damn good amassing of talent — all over the country to every major event. Let’s not forget he’s also behind Street Artist.

Least Likely to Be Human (aka the Haffey Award):

Demetrios George

You’ve all seen Demetrios George’s section in the ONEvideo, where he seems to have absolutely no problem 360ing into grinds on ledges that are at his shoulders. Or maybe the edit above where he’s top souling shit at his ears.

Well, that scares me. He must be some first-gen Avatar or something.

Best New Company:

Create Originals

When first hearing of “the frame you can slip porn into” I was a bit skeptical.

Now, since Create Originals is going with its huge pro team and putting together a viciously quality product, I’ll be the first to say while the porn frame idea is still in my brain, the company and those behind it deserve every bit of respect they’ve earned.

Blader owned. Blader run. Blader supported.

(And I’m not the first to say this, but Fish is a shoe-in for the legit ONE Skater Of The Year: injury comeback, Create Originals, Truth II.)

Blader I Least Want to Be in a Fight With:

Joey Chase

If his insanity in blading is any indicator, Joey Chase would whoop someone’s ass until their skull was the consistency of wet cotton. Because of that, I have an acute, deathly fear of him.

Best Facial Hair (aka The Erik Bailey Award):

Brandon Smith

The stoic face of B. Smith when he’s throwing hammers is only made possible by his picturesque trademark beard. It’s made solely from the eyelashes of unicorns. True story.

Most Likely to Take Over the World (aka The Senate Award):

Tie: Nimh & Valo

It seems the easiest way to pick a fight amongst bladers nowadays is to start debating which is superior: Nimh or Valo.

Both skating companies are the newest in the game. Both are blader run. Both make quality shit. But, the key fact in both is that both have a diehard following among those who ride their skates.

Julio, Shima and Elliot have always been fierce on their blades, and now that they’re making them, it hasn’t changed a bit.

Edit of the Year:

Technically, I know nothing of editing. All I know is that CJ Wellsmore’s blading in this one gets me juiced to blade every time.

Most Desirable to Drink With (aka The Opalek Award):

Everyone. Go to Bitter Cold. Let’s get shitty.

And I have to include this…

Comment of the Week:

Boom! Blading +3.

Fallon, I owe you beers for the recruitment!

Brian Krans

Leave A Comment

J Smith - Friday, January 8th, 2010

Fucking jesus how good is Wellsmore!

flo - Friday, January 8th, 2010

nice article. as you said it well, i want farmer or billy to win the award for 2009. Both made crazy things this year

bballog - Friday, January 8th, 2010

eyelashes of unicorns. love it.

Greg King - Friday, January 8th, 2010

Don’t ever smash a liquor bottle over Joey’s head.

BJBales - Friday, January 8th, 2010

I dunno Krans. Texas’ scene was pretty good in ’09. Otherwise I agree and approve.

poo - Friday, January 8th, 2010

nimh is skater owned ill give you that but valo isnt. roces owns valos not julio

John Haynes - Saturday, January 9th, 2010

i am honored to have been mentioned in this, and my beard used to rival bsmiths, but i got married… to a hair stylist…

Michael Garlinghouse - Saturday, January 9th, 2010

good read thanks krans!

Aaron Peterson - Saturday, January 9th, 2010

MN GOES HARD!

Russ - Sunday, January 10th, 2010

real good read, that CJ edit is ill

Morgan Reed - Sunday, January 10th, 2010

I had to watch that CJ banked wall ride to grind like 5 times. I think I found a new favorite dude.

I just moved to Jersey and everytime I go to the parks up here it seems like there’s always one more dude that sees me and goes back to his car to put back his board or bike and get his blades. I thought the “2010 come back” was all talk but it looks like it’s actually happening. Keep pushing everybody.

BenKarris - Monday, January 11th, 2010

Great read!!!!!!!!!!!

Joey ftw!!!!!!!

rob squire - Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

haha im in fallons status! Great article.

Amo - Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

CJ RULES !!!

skate2create - Friday, January 15th, 2010

yea motha faka!!! thats right roller CJ is the new speedy tech gonzales! .. good on ya CJ.. and yes Billy o neal deserves a skater of the year award.. champ!!

no shit rolling is actually making good rolling “steps” towards where we rollers want.. keep on rolling bretherens and like ive said to all the guys in sweden and the kids ive juiced up for rolling .. everyday is a good day to get some one on them wheels under our feet..

and i can safely say that ive put around 10 mabe 15 newbies on blades and other old schoolers have made a come back… you cant compalin when you see a new face every week let along every month!!

id shed blood and tears for what i believe in and enjoying what you do as a art and for some sport is you make it to be…

hey i even registered for am´s at winterclash even though i dont know how ill go buut its all in the name of fun and you cant not go hard and push your self at a event that ll have 2000+spectators and 200+ rollerbladers.. its gonna go nuts

Danny Jensen reprezenting (Melbourne) Australia a rider to meet and watch.. no pressure buddy all in good fun;)

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