ONE Staff / December 26th, 2009 / Uncategorized
WEB ROLL #29: Keepin’ the “ho” in holiday

All your holiday spirit, wants, likes, loves, and disappointment is wrapped up with a verbal bow by your lyrical laureate, Brian Krans. Here’s another present you can rip into without fear of leaving scraps on your mom’s floors or finding another sweater from your Aunt Lucy. Enjoy! — ONE

Everyone’s in the Giving Spirit

“Christmas time is about giving. Don’t you think so, Kev?”

“Fuck you, Jaime!”

Footage Tape, you’ve warmed this Scrooge’s heart with hilarity.

Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh… and drunk edits?

Adam Johnson (a.k.a. Chauncey LeRock) over at Vibralux and Street Artist broke out a drunk edit — not one of those drunk edits — but one he actually edited drunk as a gift to the King of Kings, the Holiest of the Holy, the… ah, fuck it. You get it.

In that hops and barley-fueled editing sesh, AJ put together a good string of clips from the VX team holding it down, finding tricks in unusual spots, and all sorts of other free Christmas present goodness.

But keep watching after the Vibralux emblem at the end… there are some boobies.

Rolling in Unlikely Places

How many college students see spots on their campus between classes and drool like a fat kid over a Twinkie, but know that the future cops looking for anything to use their Tazers on, otherwise known as campus security (the lowest of all in the law enforcement hierarchy) are looming everywhere.

Well, at the City University of New York enrollment must really be down because they are inviting you to come skate their campus.

The guys at iRollNY didn’t make such conclusions when posting it on their site this week, but if you get busted skating their campus, you know that’s a good defense to make. If it doesn’t work, sue the hell out of them for false advertising. At least that will pay off your tuition.

Comment(s) of the Week

Maybe it was the Christmas spirit, or a shit-load of spirits, but people were getting down with the comments.

For instance, Bea Arthur — not the sexiest of the Golden Girls, but one nonetheless — may be dead, but she still Twitters. More importantly, she’s still feisty and a blader…

AND, in between gorging himself on traditional Polish food, Chicago’s Matt Luda was recording down some great quotes from Mr. Erik Stokely…

To Erik, I’m sorry no one would get on board with that. Nothing says Holiday Cheer like gallons of beer, psychotic hotel caretakers, and some marital homicide.

Erik, here’s another fun drinking game to play that some bladers might get behind…

The STYD Challenge

As Shred ‘Til You’re Dead keeps releasing sections each week, pay attention to the guy pictured above, Jose Fuentes. You see, Jose is probably the nicest and happy-go-lucky guy in blading (and probably the one guy in the video everyone keeps asking “Who the fuck is that guy?).

The game is simple: each time you see Jose pop up in a shot, cheesing his ass off with a big grin, shotgun that beer in your mitts. You’ll be hammered before they get to Idaho.

Ubiquitous Item of the Week


Earlier this week, voting opened for ONE Mag’s Skater of the Year award. If you’re familiar with last year’s winner — Alex Broskow — he got a huge spread in the magazine and then just so happened to be named AIL’s Skater of the Year. Hmm… coincidence?

Know someone who isn’t getting the recognition they deserve? Want to grom all day long? Some blader constantly giving you a broner? Vote him or her in.

Then again, if you’re like the majority of the online masses and would rather bitch than contribute, don’t vote. George Carlin didn’t rollerblade but his words still apply:

Fail of the Week

Here’s a peculiar voicemail I received this week:

“Hey, Brian Krans. What’s up dude? This is Ramelle Knight, dude. Yo, I read that shit you done posted on your blog, Web Roll. That shit is hella fucked up, dude. Yo, I don’t know who you think you is, acting all hard and shit, dude. You a little bitch, a little punk, dude, talking shit about everybody, dude. You ain’t not shit, man. That’s right, you hella weak, dude. You got any balls, call me right back man. That shit’s hella fucked up what you said, dude. Hella fucked up.”

Ramelle, dude, I tried calling you back, dude. I have no friggin’ idea what the hell you’re talking about, dude. — Brian Krans

Discussion / WEB ROLL #29: Keepin’ the “ho” in holiday

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  • Jose - December 26th, 2009

    krans your awesome

  • Peter D - December 26th, 2009

    I didnt know they say “hella” on the east coast now… biting

  • BJBales - December 26th, 2009


  • Ryan - December 26th, 2009

    Well the East coast invented the term “biting” so now your biting biting you biting biter.

  • qcsky - December 27th, 2009

    awesome krans, i love you !

  • skate2createVG7 - December 27th, 2009

    daaam those footagetape girls were fffine ;P keep it rollin 🙂

  • west side bitch - December 28th, 2009

    ramelle knight will fuck your cracker ass up, honkey

  • art of rolling - December 29th, 2009

    That doesn’t even sound like KNIGHT, his grammar is way better then that someone is bs with you

  • Brian Krans - December 29th, 2009

    Hmm…someone must be messing with me. I can’t say I don’t have it coming. If it wasn’t Ramelle, then my apologies for sullying his name.

  • big western - December 30th, 2009

    the only people who have the right to run their mouths are the ones who are out there filming for parts because they can actually back their shit talking up with real street skating. if you’ve never had real clips skating in legit blading video and/or have no sponsors you probably shouldnt be commenting on fucking anything because you have no idea the work it takes to even be at the minimum level of being a sponsored am.

    ramelle knight is a real fucking G. The next web roll should be titled

    “Ramelle should beat my ass because Ive never done a handrail and am also overweight” by Brian Krans

  • Brian Krans - December 31st, 2009

    Man, I better get on my treadmill and get my camera out then.

    Who exactly was I shit talking on again? I must have missed something while I was so busy trying to get sponsored

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