Top 5 Blader Haters

Oh, you know… we’re four weeks into 2014 and someone’s already cracked open the haterade on us bladers.

Big. Freakin’. Surprise.

Steady blade hate has been raining down our way in intermittent fits since as long as there’s been a blader trying to tell someone they’re “aggressive.” It goes with the turf. And come on, if someone told you with a straight face that they were “aggressive” (about anything) you’d probably laugh in their face. So maybe we even had it coming.

And these days that’s not necessarily just speculation. There’s this story about how much skateboarding was collapsing at the same time blading was ascending — going so far as to reference blading as a possible cause! There’s also this story on Outside.com about how snowboarding is crashing and burning, and in it you can see some areas of clear overlap between blading and boarding in regards to how things were done that might not end up being that savvy after all. See for yourselves.

So we did some talking with the ONE crew and some research on the interwebs and came up with a list that some of you may find interesting.

In celebration of Shaun White proving he’s a bigger douche than anyone ever expected, we present the Top 5 Blader Haters:

5) Dave Carnie

First off, he may be a large, hairy, not-so-athletic looking drunk, but Dave Carnie demands you acknowledge that he’s “a total FAGIT that likes to suck cock in rollerblades.” Wait, that can’t be right. Because in fact Dave’s the guy behind the infamous “Rollerblading Hunter” article featuring Arlo, and wore his flattering gold lame skin suit on the cover of Big Brother’s “Boob” video. As the long-time head writer for BB, Dave’s influence rang far and wide. He’s very convinced his ridicule led to our current state, and seems quite pleased with it. “I don’t think it’s incorrect to say that skateboarders mocked rollerblading out of existence.” Also, he’s aware of “Barely Dead,” in which he is mentioned by name.

4) Rob Dyrdek

I have mixed feelings about how bad Dyrdek is for blading, since he’s probably even worse for skateboarding. But beyond that, Rob D hosts his little MTV show and never, NEVER misses a chance to extract a few ratings points or audience jeers at the expense of a blader getting racked. He’s also just petty enough to do things like post on Twitter about how “Skiing is rollerblading” or comment on Facebook when someone calls him out. Rob D is a huge symbol of the typical action sports dip shit, and has been badmouthing us for years, so let’s just hope a nice, abrupt drop in his ratings spins him right out of the limelight.

3) Danny Way

He’s the guy that practically created the era of big stunt riding. He dropped out of a helicopter into a vert ramp. He ollied the Great Wall of China, and also pioneered the mega ramps that today fuel much of the action sports landscape. Danny Way has no doubt pushed the sport of skateboarding forward. He’s also huge dick that has talked as much public shit about blading as just about anyone, so as much as he pushed his sport forward he worked to hold ours back. Did we mention his brother co-founded DC Shoes? Wearing those is like giving this guy a high-five (or helping his mortgage). Bigotry and derision is an old schooler’s game and guys like ol’ “One Way” Way will find themselves on the losing side of segregationists in the long history of action sports lore.

2) Jason Ellis

Besides looking a bit like Goldie the DJ if he got his ass beat repeatedly for about a decade, Jason Ellis came to everyone’s attention back in 2009 when he said a bunch of disparaging shit about blading on the Howard Stern show and, more important to bladers, Brian Shima allegedly sent him a rebuttal email that, depending on your perspective, was awesome or abysmal. But that was the start of our official romance with this be-tatted man-beast, who in 2012 felt compelled to tell the fine folks at espn.go.com “Rollerblading died. The X Games kicked it out, and quite frankly, that was cool. But it’s not enough. I need you to die 5,000 times. I need you 20,000 feet under the ground. That’s where I stand on rollerblading. If you’re a girl and you’re tightening your buns on the boardwalk, that’s okay. If you’re five years old, that’s okay. Anything after that, you’re a tool bag. Know this.” So he’s out there playing cheerleader for us. Keep that in mind.

1) Shaun White

If the Shaun White “morality” nonsense is offending for any reason, it’s mostly because with the Olympics about to air on NBC this asshole and his name are going to be everywhere for about two weeks straight. Then, Jah be praised, he’ll disappear back into the Red Bull can from which he came, but right now the blade state is all aflutter about White going off about how “I did say no to rollerblades because I just had to morally draw a line. I have never really been a big fan of rollerblades. They were like, ‘Rollerblades are huge in Europe!’ I’m like, ‘I really don’t care. We’ll let the scooters slide, but I’m not doing rollerblades.'”

Before you get mad, realize that this statement is the lowest and cheapest kind of publicity stunt.

1) It’s the safest play he can make. This guy who pretends to be cool just admitted to making scooters. SCOOTERS! He says they’re not cool, but silently implies that it’s such a lucrative venture that to say no would be absurd. But blading, BLADING is a sacrificial, populist lamb presented to distract the nay-sayers and sway public support.

2) This guy has nothing to say! Not only does he need to shield his venture from PR blowback, he’s got to appear edgy and “not afraid to speak his mind.” But the fact is that the guy can’t speak his mind. He’s worth a goddamn fortune and has a whole machine that has probably moved from “behind him” to “swallowed him” as his popularity and marketability grew. He’s got to tow the line. That means being “one of the guys.” And all the cool kids are out there worried about blading, right?

But down in there somewhere I’d wager there’s one other thing to consider, and that’s that like it or not — and these guys definitely don’t like it — they recognize that blading is walking the path that leads to legitimacy. That road is paved with persecution and bullshit — exactly the kind of circumstances the skateboarding efforts have created for us. They’ve built us the perfect incubator to develop the very things we lacked — the very things they could sorta actually call us out for. So kudos to them. We’re small but we’ve got a real voice and now we’re a couple generations deep. If Shaun White made a skate, would you let him? Or would you call him what he’d be, a big ol’ PHONY?

I think people were smart enough to figure that out. Scootering is young. I’m not sure they have the same level of heritage and history that even we do. There’s less of a vanguard there to prevent pure exploitation like Shaun White Enterprises (or whatever the hell it’s called) is doing.

So again I say way to go, bladers. Let’s keep on pissing off bitter assholes and over-achieving brats. Let’s hope they never figure us out and that someday we can laugh this whole thing off as the lame brain, small-minded nonsense it clearly is.

Leave A Comment

seb - Friday, January 31st, 2014

As I see, not everyone can be nice, sad for them :-)

Mike O. - Friday, January 31st, 2014

I would trade Dyrdek for Sal Masakala. Everytime I’ve seen blading on Dyrdeks version of Tosh.O I get stoked. He’s (at least I’ve never heard) never said anything hateful about it. He always shows other action sports eating shit. So why not blading? People seeing it is better then not, in my opinion. On the other hand Masakala is a complete douch. He would talk shit on ESPN during the old B3 events about blading. Even commenting on some blade bashing Anthony Furlong said during an interview, Sal says, “Nothing I like more then some Blader haters!”, On ESPN.
Furthermore Sal is just a TV puppet. My old roommate you may have heard of him TJ Webber, use to edit that Tony Hawk Tour TV show for ESPN. He would come home laughing as all the skateboarders and BMXer’s would talk shit on Sal when he wasn’t around. The guys just a Dick!

JE - Friday, January 31st, 2014

Thanks for the input, Mike!

Feels like Sal is suffering from some of the “I better say something ‘cool’ to stay edgy and relevant” group-think that’s plagued most of this list. Never liked that guy.

Sean P. Quinn - Friday, January 31st, 2014

CURRENT HATE-STATE IS YET ANOTHER INDICATOR THAT BLADING WILL HAVE A RESURGENCE; IT’S TWO YEARS OUT.

Jnfab - Friday, January 31st, 2014

Why take important to this kind of people, I enjoy skating and no matter what others say

Blade till death

J Johnson - Friday, January 31st, 2014

Now I feel bad that I bought my son some SW clothing as I really don’t give the guy much credit, he’s only after the money, as happens all to often in the sports world. I grew up in the Atlanta blading scene when many of the greats were coming along: Dowling, Hyser, Austin, Gumby, Bah, Coco and many others that deserve due cred. Loved the scene these guys/girls created. It was so inviting and truly helped the sport, even if it seems like they failed to others. I remember the innovators like Hyser with Fiziks and all, putting their necks on the line for the sport.

Many of these skateboarders and media tools just jumped in line for the checks. There are greats in all sports and were can’t let a few dozen bad apples ruin the attitude that we as bladers have. I have been in the game since you had to lace up Senate plates on, first true blade I ever owned was some Backyard Bob’s and I worked those things to the ground.

vas - Friday, January 31st, 2014

crying and writing an article about this shit is worse than hating. who fucking cares? its just opinions.

Jay Geurink - Friday, January 31st, 2014

I think it is important to know who supports rollerblading and who is against it. Although just gathering around computer screens and saying yeah screw those dudes and not actually doing anything about it is rather ridiculous. 90% of you will leave this discussion and then a month or two down the line go buy some skateboarding shows and a tee shirt or some jeans made by a company that is supported by these men above or at least several that are on the same end of the stick. What we should be talking about is what companies and people are doing things for rollerbladers. So when we go out and spend the spoils of our hard work on shoes, clothes, sporting goods, ect that it’s going in the pocket of people that actually celebrate us in some form.

moving towards growth instead of attempting to fight or whisper in the corner about being bullied isn’t going to do anything.

Marcus KTG - Friday, January 31st, 2014

I’ll scrap any one of these motherfuckers on sight. And I’ll knock out Masakala as a bonus. Fuck these clowns. Talk shit when I’m at the park and see what happens.

Moody - Friday, January 31st, 2014

^ word Marcus

Frank Stoner - Friday, January 31st, 2014

Jay Geurink: http://www.oneblademag.com/blogs/second-place-the-ada-and-rollerblading/

A little over a year ago I jumped up and down about Senator Tom Harkin, who realistically did more for blading than Senate, DB, VG, or anything (or anyone) else for that matter, and nobody batted an eye.

jam - Friday, January 31st, 2014

I say thanks to all these guys!!! I don’t hate them at all- I love them for what they do. The best thing would be to forget blading- not to mention it just ignore it. Everytime they mention us we should say thanks! Cool, we are hated, we are despised :) we are the outcast! Nice nice nice!

So thanks to these guys- they are funny fools and no more than that. All to be forgotten in time and yet we or those that will come after us will continue to blade and not give a fuck who and what they think of us or our sport- after all we don’t do this for anyone to love us- we do it because it is fun and we love it.

So just enjoy and always smile when some skateboarder hates us because how stupid can you be to hate someone just for the sport. It shows you the person is a complete fool and fools never make me angry they make me laugh.

Erik S - Friday, January 31st, 2014

Look at it this way, the more hate us bladers get, the more popular it is getting. If we weren’t getting any sort of hate from people, it means that we don’t have a big enough scene.
So take this blade hate as a blessing.
Clearly means we are infringing on these big wigs territory as the new extreme sport.

Big Ed - Friday, January 31st, 2014

You’re loosing your focus- stop feeding their fires and keep doing what’s been done for over 2 decades. What ever you resist will persist- don’t give these pinheads a second thought and render them powerless…they will fade away and skating will continue to be all that it ever was…freakin awesomely satisfying.
Love you all.

Jasson P - Friday, January 31st, 2014

Danny Way used to rollerblade. pretty sure he won some NISS events. amazing how you flip script for cash…

Scott Wilcoxson - Saturday, February 1st, 2014

Rollerblading has condensed and has become a sleeping giant. Anyone who hates any sport is insecure about their own abilities. All my skateboarder buddies know and respect rollerblading because of me. When a particular discipline dominates on virtually any urban terrain in spinning, grinding, and amplitude it will never be held down by the wagging tongues of the purposeless entities. We are the True Rollers.

Bartholomew J. Nowak - Saturday, February 1st, 2014

I’m so tired of reading these posts/articles. Are you guys 15 years old? Who gives a shit what other people think of you, even in a public forum. Grow some balls and move on with your life. The more attention you give this issue the worse it will get. Have you guys not learned anything in life?

For those of you who actually care Shaun White is hated pretty much by every f-ing snowboard pro out there. So his opinion like anyone else’s shouldn’t matter, to you or anyone. Skate for the love of skating and not because it’s cool.

JE - Saturday, February 1st, 2014

“So again I say way to go, bladers. Let’s keep on pissing off bitter assholes and over-achieving brats. Let’s hope they never figure us out and that someday we can laugh this whole thing off as the lame brain, small-minded nonsense it clearly is.”

Inline Downhill Vancouver - Sunday, February 2nd, 2014

We need to stop giving attention to attention whores. By writing an article like this, you give them exactly what they want: attention, of course. Also, knowing that they got to someone with their trolling.

Act with indifference to trolls and embrace all urban street sports. This isn’t a competition, even though some would like us to think so, since it’s in their best interest.

fruitboarder - Sunday, February 2nd, 2014

next time you are on espn make sure and talk about how gay skateboarding is.And how not gay rollerblading is. onemag can make alot of money then when inline is cool again/

Eric P - Sunday, February 2nd, 2014

“Let’s hope they never figure us out and that someday we can laugh this whole thing off as the lame brain, small-minded nonsense it clearly is.”

Someday? I’ve had that attitude for the past 15/20yrs…
Let the haters keep hating us hard as they can, it keeps the insecure girls that care what other people think of them out of rolling.

Matt j - Monday, February 3rd, 2014

Seriously who cares? I didn’t start rollerblading to get props from skateboarders or who ever. I do it for myself. Let it go… Let them say what they want.

Fer-loko - Friday, February 7th, 2014

Useless, they can never stop rollerblading… and i was a skateboarder 15 years ago, but after i watched the first anti-rollerblading propaganda, I began to realize how ridiculous they were being, as i’m a sympathizer of Shaolin Buddhism, I’d rather be on the side of those who are being attacked, instead of attacking the side. so I woke up to become a rollerblader!!

Fer-loko - Friday, February 7th, 2014

…instead of attacking the side of those that are only being themselves…

now it’s complete

JC from Melbourne, Australia - Thursday, February 13th, 2014

Honestly guys, the hate spread worldwide because of these “haters,” but really it’s made the sport what it is today. Sorry but yeah if your upset about copping some shit from people who probably couldn’t even keep their balance of a pair of blades, then your giving them exactly what they want.
Don’t get angry. Be happy. Their hate is to our benifit.
And as Eric P said above, the hate we receive keeps insecure people out of our sport, and leaves the stronger people in it.

Toddjamin - Thursday, February 13th, 2014

As a scooter rider, i fucking love that Shaun White makes Scooters. It gives the scene a chance to come together to hate his money grabbing backside and the POS chinese knockoffs he is making :) much love!

Dmac - Saturday, May 7th, 2016

Blading is awesome. I have taken some flack from people driving by, but no one will say it to my face. Probably because I lift and my biceps are bigger than there head. I assure you if anyone called my a faggot cause I blade they would lose there front teeth and have a crooked nose.

Remy Cadier - Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

Let’s get fucking militant…WAX ERRYWHEREEEE.

Ricky nautica - Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

Danny way is fucking awesome and one of the greatest stunt men of all time. He has the right to talk shit and say whatever he wants unless you are willing to duplicate all of his stunts on blades and do them even bigger….I would be more stoked if he put some blades on and did the biggest hand rail he could find! This article is unecessary and too negative. I’d rather see an article about the skateboarders that have good things to say about blading and help make our case for being different and or doing something different than them. We have to Ghandi out of this hating and be free from the negative demons like we are at a phish concert with Matt Morrison 24 hours a day

Pizzatime - Thursday, October 20th, 2016

Is this even for real??? Just because these guys did something you “bladers” never could, make their sports cool, iconic, progressive, and all around fucking huge.
Shaun white brought snowboarding to the mainstream and into the fucking OLYMPICS where it took over as the highest rated event.
Rob Dyrdek’s street league contest and TV shows have done the same for skating, which is now going to be in the summer olympics 2020, not to mention he’s built his own parks across America that even benefits you douchey bladers.
Jason Ellis literally inspires thousands of people everyday by talking about important shit on the radio. Once every few months even still trashes bladers, and fucking hates the fact that his kid rides a scooter.
Danny way is the God of modern day ramp skating. He got rid of the shit no one wanted to see anymore (vert), and went from everyone thinking he was bananas for building mega ramps, to 14 year Olds dropping in and competing in best trick comps on the very same ramps.
Big brother played a huge role in skating achieving the status it’s at today (I guarantee you no one gets called homos for skating anymore ;))
And last but certainly not least, Sal Masakela achieved legend status in extreme sports without ever actually doing anything extreme. He has become the voice of a generation, and not a single soul turns on the x games without waiting to hear his voice. Instead, ESPN decided some random hot chick’s who don’t know sweet dick all about these sports could do a better job than he did, and they were wrong. Sal has a connection to the action sports community. He is more active in it than most action sports athletes. So what does Sal do? He says fuck you ESPN, and goes and gets him some of that red bull money, being the voice of the signature series and many other red bull events.
In short, your just pissed at what these guys have accomplished for their sports, and that they were even able to get the attention to be able to sell out and make their sports what they are today.
And as for you guys talking tough saying “no one makes fun of me to my face at the skatepark I’ll knock them out”…. quit lying. I have a hard time believing there is a single blader in existence who hasn’t been laughed out of the park by a bunch of skaters… or bikers… or hell, even scooters.
PS how does it feel that scooter kids are now more accepted than you guys? Like damn, that must be a real kick in the nuts to know that scooter ambassadors are able to get their sport recognition while your sport slowly dwindles into the nothingness from whence you came. I bet you all rock snow blades too.
PSS when you spin you look like a ballerina, and because I am secretly a homosexual too afraid to come out of the closet, I randomly take my aggression out on innocent bystanders. I just want someone to accept me for who I really am. That’s why blading never has been, is, or will be cool. There is no such thing as style on Rollerblades.

Ryan Johnson - Sunday, October 23rd, 2016

Rollerbladers don’t care if you’re gay, Pizzatime, if you just stop talking so much shit about other people and be more accepting, maybe other people would be more accepting of you. Best of luck.

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